Mark Strand: Elegía para mi padre (Robert Strand 1908-68)
1 El cuerpo vacío
Las manos eran tuyas, los brazos eran tuyos,
Pero no estabas ahí.
Los ojos eran tuyos, pero estaban cerrados y no se abrirían.
El sol distante estaba ahí.
La luna suspendida sobre el blanco hombro de la colina estaba ahí.
El viento sobre Bedford Basin estaba ahí.
La pálida luz verde del invierno estaba ahí.
Tu boca estaba ahí,
Pero tú no estabas ahí.
Cuando alguien habló, no hubo respuesta.
Las nubes bajaron
Y sepultaron los edificios a lo largo del agua,
El agua era silente.
Las gaviotas contemplaban.
Los años, las horas, que no te encontrarían
Se volvieron las muñecas de los otros.
No había dolor. Se había ido.
No había secretos. No había nada que decir.
La sombra esparció sus cenizas.
El cuerpo era tuyo, pero no estabas ahí.
El aire tiritaba contra su piel.
La oscuridad se apoyó en sus ojos.
Pero no estabas ahí.
2 Respuestas
¿Por qué viajabas?
Porque la casa era fría.
¿Por qué viajabas?
Porque es lo que siempre he hecho entre el ocaso y el amanecer.
¿Qué vestías?
Vestía traje azul, camisa blanca, corbata amarilla, y calcetines
amarillos.
¿Qué vestías?
No vestía nada. Una bufanda de dolor me mantenía tibio.
¿Con quién dormías?
Dormía con una mujer distinta cada noche.
¿Con quién dormías?
Dormía solo. Siempre he dormido solo.
¿Por qué mentiste?
Siempre pensé que decía la verdad.
¿Por qué mentiste?
Porque la verdad miente como ninguna otra cosa y yo amo la verdad.
¿Por qué te vas?
Porque ya nada significa mucho para mí.
¿Por qué te vas?
No lo sé. Nunca lo he sabido.
¿Cuánto más debo esperarte?
No me esperes. Estoy cansado y quiero recostarme.
¿Estás cansado y quieres recostarte?
Sí, estoy cansado y quiero recostarme.
3 Tu morir
Nada pudo detenerte.
Ni el mejor día. Ni el más quieto. Ni el océano que se mece.
Tú seguías con tu morir.
Ni los árboles
Bajo los que caminaste, ni los árboles que te dieron sombra.
Ni el doctor
Que te advirtió, el joven doctor de pelo blanco que una vez te
salvó.
Tú seguías con tu morir.
Nada pudo detenerte. Ni tu hijo. Ni tu hija
Que te alimentaba y te volvió de nuevo un niño.
Ni tu hijo que pensó que vivirías por siempre.
Ni el viento que sacudió tus solapas.
Ni la quietud que se ofreció a tu movimiento.
Ni tus zapatos que se hicieron más pesados.
Ni tus ojos que adelante se negaron a mirar.
Nada pudo detenerte.
Te sentaste en tu cuarto y contemplaste la ciudad
Y seguías con tu morir.
Fuiste a trabajar y dejaste entrar al frío en tus ropajes.
Dejaste que la sangre se colara por tus calcetines.
Tu rostro se volvió blanco.
Tu voz se partió en dos.
Te apoyaste en tu bastón.
Pero nada pudo detenerte.
Ni tus amigos que te aconsejaban.
Ni tu hijo. Ni tu hija que te vio hacerte pequeño.
Ni la fatiga que vivía en tus suspiros.
Ni tus pulmones que se llenarían de agua.
Ni tus mangas que cargaron el dolor de tus brazos.
Nada pudo detenerte.
Tú seguías con tu morir.
Cuando jugabas con los niños tú seguías con tu morir.
Cuando te sentabas a comer,
Cuando despertabas en la noche, mojado en lágrimas, tu cuerpo
sollozando,
Tu seguías con tu morir.
Nada pudo detenerte.
Ni el pasado.
Ni el futuro con su buen clima.
Ni la vista desde tu ventana, la vista del cementerio.
Ni la ciudad. Ni la terrible ciudad con sus construcciones de
madera.
Ni la derrota. Ni el éxito.
No hiciste nada sino seguir con tu morir.
Pusiste tu reloj sobre tu oreja.
Te sentiste resbalar.
Te recostaste en la cama.
Doblaste tus brazos sobre tu pecho y soñaste con un mundo sin ti,
Con el espacio bajo los árboles,
Con el espacio en tu habitación,
Con los espacios que ahora estarían vacíos sin ti,
Y seguías con tu morir.
Nada pudo detenerte.
Ni tu respiración. Ni tu vida.
Ni la vida que querías.
Ni la vida que tuviste.
Nada pudo detenerte.
4 Tu sombra
Tienes tu sombra.
Los lugares donde estuviste te la han devuelto.
Los pasillos y los céspedes rasos del orfanato te la han devuelto.
La Casa de los Voceadores te la ha devuelto.
Las calles de Nueva York te la han devuelto y también las de
Montreal
Los cuartos de Belém donde los lagartos chasqueaban mosquitos te
la han devuelto.
Las oscuras calles de Manaos y las calles húmedas de Río te la han
devuelto.
La ciudad de México donde quisiste dejarla te la ha devuelto.
Y Halifax, cuyo puerto se lavaría de ti las manos, te la ha
devuelto.
Ya tienes tu sombra.
Cuando viajabas el blanco despertar de tu andar enviaba tu
sombra debajo, mas cuando llegabas estaba ahí para
recibirte. Tenías tu sombra.
Las puertas donde entrabas te quitaban con tu sombra y al
salir te la devolvían. Tuviste tu sombra.
Aún cuando olvidabas tu sombra, volvías a encontrarla: había
estado contigo.
Una vez en el bosque la sombra de un árbol cubrió tu sombra y no
fuiste reconocido.
Una vez en el bosque pensaste que tu sombra había sido arrojada
por otro. Tu sombra no dijo nada.
Tus ropas llevaban tu sombra dentro; al desvestirte se
derramaba como la oscuridad de tu pasado.
Y tus palabras que flotan como hojas en un aire perdido, en un
lugar que nadie conoce, te devolvieron tu sombra.
Tus amigos te devolvieron tu sombra.
Tus enemigos te devolvieron tu sombra. Dijeron que era pesada y
cubriría tu tumba.
Cuando moriste tu sombra se durmió en la boca del horno y
comió por pan cenizas.
Se regocijo entre ruinas.
Vigiló mientras otros dormían.
Brilló como cristal entre las tumbas.
Se componía de sí misma como el aire.
Quería ser como la nieve sobre el agua.
Quiso ser nada, pero no fue posible.
Se vino a mi casa.
Se sentó en mis hombros.
Tu sombra es tuya. Lo he dicho tanto. Dije que era tuya.
Mucho tiempo la llevé conmigo. Te la devuelvo.
5 Llanto
Ellos lloraban por ti.
Cuando te levantabas a media noche,
Y el rocío brillaba en la piedra de tus mejillas,
Ellos lloraban por ti.
Ellos te llevaban de regreso a la casa vacía.
Ellos llevaban las sillas y las mesas hacia adentro.
Ellos te sentaban y te enseñaban a respirar.
Y tu aliento quema,
Quema la caja de pino y las cenizas caen como la luz del sol.
Ellos te dieron un libro y te dijeron que leyeras.
Ellos escucharon y sus ojos se llenaron de lágrimas.
Las mujeres estrechaban tus dedos.
Devolvieron al peinarte el amarillo a tu cabello.
Afeitaron el hielo de tu barba.
Amasaron tus muslos.
Te vistieron con ropas finas.
Frotaron tus manos para mantenerte tibio.
Te alimentaron. Te ofrecieron dinero.
Se pusieron de rodillas y te imploraron que no murieras.
Cuando te levantabas a media noche lloraban por ti.
Cerraron los ojos y susurraron tu nombre una y otra vez.
No pudieron sacar a rastras la sepultada luz de tus venas.
No pudieron alcanzar tus sueños.
No hay manera, viejo.
Levantarse y volverse a levantar, no te hace bien.
Ellos como pueden lloran por ti.
6 Año Nuevo
Es invierno y Año Nuevo.
Nadie te conoce.
Alejado de las estrellas, de la lluvia de la luz,
Yaces bajo el clima de las piedras.
No hay un hilo que te vuelva atrás.
Tus amigos dormitan en la oscuridad
De placer y no pueden recordar.
Nadie te conoce. Eres el vecino de la nada.
No miras el caer de la lluvia y el hombre que se aleja,
El viento sucio que sopla sus cenizas a través de la ciudad.
No ves al sol que arrastra a la luna como un eco.
No ves al inflamado corazón en flamas.
Los cráneos de los inocentes que se vuelven humo.
No ves las cicatrices de la plenitud, los ojos sin luz.
Esto se acaba. Es invierno y Año Nuevo.
Los mansos transportan sus pieles hacia el cielo.
Los sin esperanza sufren el frío con aquellos que no tienen qué
esconder.
Esto se acaba y nadie te conoce.
Hay una luz de estrellas a la deriva en el agua negra.
Hay piedras en el mar que nadie ha visto.
Hay una costa y gente que espera.
Y nada regresa.
Porque esto se acaba.
Porque hay silencio a cambio de un nombre.
Porque es invierno y Año Nuevo.
Elegy for My Father
(Robert Strand
1908-1968)
1 THE EMPTY BODY
The hands were yours,
the arms were yours,
But you were not there.
The eyes were yours, but they were closed and would not open.
The distant sun was there.
The moon poised on the hillÕs white shoulder was there.
The wind on Bedford Basin was there.
The pale green light of winter was there.
Your mouth was there,
But you were not there.
When somebody spoke, there was no answer.
Clouds came down
And buried the buildings along the water,
And the water was silent.
The gulls stared.
The years, the hours, that would not find you
Turned in the wrists of others.
There was no pain. It had gone.
There were no secrets. There was nothing to say.
The shade scattered its ashes.
The body was yours, but you were not there.
The air shivered against its skin.
The dark leaned into its eyes.
But you were not there.
But you were not there.
The eyes were yours, but they were closed and would not open.
The distant sun was there.
The moon poised on the hillÕs white shoulder was there.
The wind on Bedford Basin was there.
The pale green light of winter was there.
Your mouth was there,
But you were not there.
When somebody spoke, there was no answer.
Clouds came down
And buried the buildings along the water,
And the water was silent.
The gulls stared.
The years, the hours, that would not find you
Turned in the wrists of others.
There was no pain. It had gone.
There were no secrets. There was nothing to say.
The shade scattered its ashes.
The body was yours, but you were not there.
The air shivered against its skin.
The dark leaned into its eyes.
But you were not there.
2 ANSWERS
Why did you travel?
Because the house was cold.
Why did you travel?
Because it is what I have always done between sunset and sunrise.
What did you wear?
I wore a blue suit, a white shirt, yellow tie, and yellow socks.
What did you wear?
I wore nothing. A scarf of pain kept me warm.
Who did you sleep with?
I slept with a different woman each night.
Who did you sleep with?
I slept alone. I have always slept alone.
Why did you lie to me?
I always thought I told the truth.
Why did you lie to me?
Because the truth lies like nothing else and I love the truth.
Why are you going?
Because nothing means much to me anymore.
Why are you going?
I donÕt know. I have never known.
How long shall I wait for you?
Do not wait for me. I am tired and I want to lie down.
Are you tired and do you want to lie down?
Yes, I am tired and I want to lie down.
Because the house was cold.
Why did you travel?
Because it is what I have always done between sunset and sunrise.
What did you wear?
I wore a blue suit, a white shirt, yellow tie, and yellow socks.
What did you wear?
I wore nothing. A scarf of pain kept me warm.
Who did you sleep with?
I slept with a different woman each night.
Who did you sleep with?
I slept alone. I have always slept alone.
Why did you lie to me?
I always thought I told the truth.
Why did you lie to me?
Because the truth lies like nothing else and I love the truth.
Why are you going?
Because nothing means much to me anymore.
Why are you going?
I donÕt know. I have never known.
How long shall I wait for you?
Do not wait for me. I am tired and I want to lie down.
Are you tired and do you want to lie down?
Yes, I am tired and I want to lie down.
3 YOUR DYING
Nothing could stop you.
Not the best day. Not the quiet. Not the ocean rocking.
You went on with your dying.
Not the trees
Under which you walked, not the trees that shaded you.
Not the doctor
Who warned you, the white-haired young doctor who saved you once.
You went on with your dying.
Nothing could stop you. Not your son. Not your daughter
Who fed you and made you into a child again.
Not your son who thought you would live forever.
Not the wind that shook your lapels.
Not the stillness that offered itself to your motion.
Not your shoes that grew heavier.
Not your eyes that refused to look ahead.
Nothing could stop you.
You sat in your room and stared at the city
And went on with your dying.
You went to work and let the cold enter your clothes.
You let blood seep into your socks.
Your face turned white.
Your voice cracked in two.
You leaned on your cane.
But nothing could stop you.
Not your friends who gave you advice.
Not your son. Not your daughter who watched you grow small.
Not fatigue that lived in your sighs.
Not your lungs that would fill with water.
Not your sleeves that carried the pain of your arms.
Nothing could stop you.
You went on with your dying.
When you played with children you went on with your dying.
When you sat down to eat,
When you woke up at night, wet with tears, your body sobbing,
You went on with your dying.
Nothing could stop you.
Not the past.
Not the future with its good weather.
Not the view from your window, the view of the graveyard.
Not the city. Not the terrible city with its wooden buildings.
Not defeat. Not success.
You did nothing but go on with your dying.
You put your watch to your ear.
You felt yourself slipping.
You lay on the bed.
You folded your arms over your chest and you dreamed of the world
without you,
Of the space under the trees,
Of the space in your room,
Of the spaces that would now be empty of you,
And you went on with your dying.
Nothing could stop you.
Not your breathing. Not your life.
Not the life you wanted.
Not the life you had.
Nothing could stop you.
Not the best day. Not the quiet. Not the ocean rocking.
You went on with your dying.
Not the trees
Under which you walked, not the trees that shaded you.
Not the doctor
Who warned you, the white-haired young doctor who saved you once.
You went on with your dying.
Nothing could stop you. Not your son. Not your daughter
Who fed you and made you into a child again.
Not your son who thought you would live forever.
Not the wind that shook your lapels.
Not the stillness that offered itself to your motion.
Not your shoes that grew heavier.
Not your eyes that refused to look ahead.
Nothing could stop you.
You sat in your room and stared at the city
And went on with your dying.
You went to work and let the cold enter your clothes.
You let blood seep into your socks.
Your face turned white.
Your voice cracked in two.
You leaned on your cane.
But nothing could stop you.
Not your friends who gave you advice.
Not your son. Not your daughter who watched you grow small.
Not fatigue that lived in your sighs.
Not your lungs that would fill with water.
Not your sleeves that carried the pain of your arms.
Nothing could stop you.
You went on with your dying.
When you played with children you went on with your dying.
When you sat down to eat,
When you woke up at night, wet with tears, your body sobbing,
You went on with your dying.
Nothing could stop you.
Not the past.
Not the future with its good weather.
Not the view from your window, the view of the graveyard.
Not the city. Not the terrible city with its wooden buildings.
Not defeat. Not success.
You did nothing but go on with your dying.
You put your watch to your ear.
You felt yourself slipping.
You lay on the bed.
You folded your arms over your chest and you dreamed of the world
without you,
Of the space under the trees,
Of the space in your room,
Of the spaces that would now be empty of you,
And you went on with your dying.
Nothing could stop you.
Not your breathing. Not your life.
Not the life you wanted.
Not the life you had.
Nothing could stop you.
4 YOUR SHADOW
You have your shadow.
The places where you were have given it back.
The hallways and bare lawns of the orphanage have given it back.
The Newsboys Home has given it back.
The streets of New York have given it back and so have the streets of
Montreal.
The rooms in Bel?m where lizards would snap at mosquitos have
given it back.
The dark streets of Manaus and the damp streets of Rio have given it
back.
Mexico City where you wanted to leave it has given it back.
And Halifax where the harbor would wash its hands of you has given
it back.
You have your shadow.
When you traveled the white wake of your going sent your shadow
below, but when you arrived it was there to greet you. You had
your shadow.
The doorways you entered lifted your shadow from you and when you
went out, gave it back. You had your shadow.
Even when you forgot your shadow, you found it again; it had been
with you.
Once in the country the shade of a tree covered your shadow and you
were not known.
Once in the country you thought your shadow had been cast by somebody
else. Your shadow said nothing.
Your clothes carried your shadow inside; when you took them off, it
spread like the dark of your past.
And your words that float like leaves in an air that is lost, in a place
no one knows, gave you back your shadow.
Your friends gave you back your shadow.
Your enemies gave you back your shadow. They said it was heavy and
would cover your grave.
When you died your shadow slept at the mouth of the furnace and ate
ashes for bread.
It rejoiced among ruins.
It watched while others slept.
It shone like crystal among the tombs.
It composed itself like air.
It wanted to be like snow on water.
It wanted to be nothing, but that was not possible.
It came to my house.
It sat on my shoulders.
Your shadow is yours. I told it so. I said it was yours.
I have carried it with me too long. I give it back.
The places where you were have given it back.
The hallways and bare lawns of the orphanage have given it back.
The Newsboys Home has given it back.
The streets of New York have given it back and so have the streets of
Montreal.
The rooms in Bel?m where lizards would snap at mosquitos have
given it back.
The dark streets of Manaus and the damp streets of Rio have given it
back.
Mexico City where you wanted to leave it has given it back.
And Halifax where the harbor would wash its hands of you has given
it back.
You have your shadow.
When you traveled the white wake of your going sent your shadow
below, but when you arrived it was there to greet you. You had
your shadow.
The doorways you entered lifted your shadow from you and when you
went out, gave it back. You had your shadow.
Even when you forgot your shadow, you found it again; it had been
with you.
Once in the country the shade of a tree covered your shadow and you
were not known.
Once in the country you thought your shadow had been cast by somebody
else. Your shadow said nothing.
Your clothes carried your shadow inside; when you took them off, it
spread like the dark of your past.
And your words that float like leaves in an air that is lost, in a place
no one knows, gave you back your shadow.
Your friends gave you back your shadow.
Your enemies gave you back your shadow. They said it was heavy and
would cover your grave.
When you died your shadow slept at the mouth of the furnace and ate
ashes for bread.
It rejoiced among ruins.
It watched while others slept.
It shone like crystal among the tombs.
It composed itself like air.
It wanted to be like snow on water.
It wanted to be nothing, but that was not possible.
It came to my house.
It sat on my shoulders.
Your shadow is yours. I told it so. I said it was yours.
I have carried it with me too long. I give it back.
5 MOURNING
They mourn for you.
When you rise at midnight,
And the dew glitters on the stone of your cheeks,
They mourn for you.
They lead you back into the empty house.
They carry the chairs and tables inside.
They sit you down and teach you to breathe.
And your breath burns,
It burns the pine box and the ashes fall like sunlight.
They give you a book and tell you to read.
They listen and their eyes fill with tears.
The women stroke your fingers.
They comb the yellow back into your hair.
They shave the frost from your beard.
They knead your thighs.
They dress you in fine clothes.
They rub your hands to keep them warm.
They feed you. They offer you money.
They get on their knees and beg you not to die.
When you rise at midnight they mourn for you.
They close their eyes and whisper your name over and over.
But they cannot drag the buried light from your veins.
They cannot reach your dreams.
Old man, there is no way.
Rise and keep rising, it does no good.
They mourn for you the way they can.
When you rise at midnight,
And the dew glitters on the stone of your cheeks,
They mourn for you.
They lead you back into the empty house.
They carry the chairs and tables inside.
They sit you down and teach you to breathe.
And your breath burns,
It burns the pine box and the ashes fall like sunlight.
They give you a book and tell you to read.
They listen and their eyes fill with tears.
The women stroke your fingers.
They comb the yellow back into your hair.
They shave the frost from your beard.
They knead your thighs.
They dress you in fine clothes.
They rub your hands to keep them warm.
They feed you. They offer you money.
They get on their knees and beg you not to die.
When you rise at midnight they mourn for you.
They close their eyes and whisper your name over and over.
But they cannot drag the buried light from your veins.
They cannot reach your dreams.
Old man, there is no way.
Rise and keep rising, it does no good.
They mourn for you the way they can.
6 THE NEW YEAR
It is winter and the
new year.
Nobody knows you.
Away from the stars, from the rain of light,
You lie under the weather of stones.
There is no thread to lead you back.
Your friends doze in the dark
Of pleasure and cannot remember.
Nobody knows you. You are the neighbor of nothing.
You do not see the rain falling and the man walking away,
The soiled wind blowing its ashes across the city.
You do not see the sun dragging the moon like an echo.
You do not see the bruised heart go up in flames,
The skulls of the innocent turn into smoke.
You do not see the scars of plenty, the eyes without light.
It is over. It is winter and the new year.
The meek are hauling their skins into heaven.
The hopeless are suffering the cold with those who have nothing to
hide.
It is over and nobody knows you.
There is starlight drifting on the black water.
There are stones in the sea no one has seen.
There is a shore and people are waiting.
And nothing comes back.
Because it is over.
Because there is silence instead of a name.
Because it is winter and the new year.
Nobody knows you.
Away from the stars, from the rain of light,
You lie under the weather of stones.
There is no thread to lead you back.
Your friends doze in the dark
Of pleasure and cannot remember.
Nobody knows you. You are the neighbor of nothing.
You do not see the rain falling and the man walking away,
The soiled wind blowing its ashes across the city.
You do not see the sun dragging the moon like an echo.
You do not see the bruised heart go up in flames,
The skulls of the innocent turn into smoke.
You do not see the scars of plenty, the eyes without light.
It is over. It is winter and the new year.
The meek are hauling their skins into heaven.
The hopeless are suffering the cold with those who have nothing to
hide.
It is over and nobody knows you.
There is starlight drifting on the black water.
There are stones in the sea no one has seen.
There is a shore and people are waiting.
And nothing comes back.
Because it is over.
Because there is silence instead of a name.
Because it is winter and the new year.
*Tomado
del libro “The story of our lives”, de 1973 / Traducción de René Higuera.
Gracias blog Círculo de Poesía.
Etiquetas: Mark Strand
posted by Blog del amasijo at 7/11/2014 06:29:00 p.m.
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